One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making
love. All of a sudden a bumblebee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady
parted her legs the bee entered her vagina.
The woman started screaming "Oh my God, help me, there's a bee in my
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the
situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation.
But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit."
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever
method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what
I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your
wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall
withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's
vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval.
The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into
the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I
don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting
the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement.
She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked
like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts
and started making loud noises.
The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now
wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?"
The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown
An old couple go to a doctor and ask him to watch them have
sex and tell if he see's them doing anything wrong. So they have sex.
While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything
A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are
doing anything wrong.
They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything
This goes on for weeks. Then the doctor asks why they keep coming.
The guy said: "If we go to her house her husband will catch us. If we go to
my house my wife will catch us. A hotel costs fifty bucks. Here it's thirty-five
dollars and Medicare pays half!"
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The
doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke
her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or
"That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
"Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual
intercourse with the woman.
He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital,
is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Carson," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see
by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea
what you might do once you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for
mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the
other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the
hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in
reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and
study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on
being a teapot."
A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he
notices strange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the
Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to
cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Thailand.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my
country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by
This couple had only been married for about two weeks when the
wife complains of a burning sensation in her chest. She tells her husband who
suggests that she goes to the doctor to be examined. She arranges an appointment
and goes the following day.
The husband, while at work receives a call from the doctor.
Doctor: "I am sorry to say your wife has acute angina..."
Husband: "Yeah, I know, she's got a nice pair of tits too, but what is
wrong with her?"
A man is walking by an insane asylum and hears all the
residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone
pokes him in the eye.
Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"